Holy $*&&^!! I've been away for like..uh...3 weeks? Yeah...think so..but now i'm back!! It's been one hell of a break and i'm fucking back to endure hell, again. I was in Baguio, yes the meningo-filled city of pines, for the holidays with my family. It was really fun even though a lot of stuff changed this year (regarding the "traditional" family activities during the holidays). All 3 weeks were spent beating my siblings and my dad in monopoly (yea!! i rule..hehe not really..), lying around, swapping stories of our childhood and my "detached" half-bro, helping my sis start/finish her book (she's writing one..) and drinking alcoholic beverages (my fave part..hehe)!! Almost every night, we would all gather in the "game room" (it's actually a house..but we call it "room" anyway cause it's sounds right than "game house") to eat snacks and drink!! We drank wine, cognac (it's fucking disgusting, by the way...it brought tears to my eyes..cause it's 40% alcohol! haha), champagne, kalibog and malice (both are lambanog btw, but malice tastes better)!! Ang sarap mehn!! Except the cognac...shit...yuck...Oh yeah..this year i got a new bass guitar!! Wohooooo!! Can't wait to try it on one of our gigs..HMTE and ITMOS!! Yea! Astig..a day before new year...our family played bingo just for fun. I won three times!!! Wooyea!! Although...the prizes i won were for girls and for kids. Haha..oh well..right now i feel like crap cause of school..i don't know shit about the lessons and right now i'm cramming..and tomorrows my bday! Aaaargh...bad timing..oh well...here's a little something i wrote just now out of procrastination..

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Untitled

Again i am riding this rusted wheel
this cycle of never ending forever
it's a vast maze that no one escapes
once you start, you'll only end up to find
another fork in the road. A deadly binge
is what we are all bound to. Unchain,
free yourself from what they see
as the key. Let it not take you,
the blinded, the fool. Break away,
break away.

once more everything that revolves
around these eyes seem to mock
my soul. Tattered, shattered
and the like are what i feel inside.
Seems as if i appear to be weak and frail.
It's all topsy turvy in front of a mirror.
Now as i collapse into a state of sleep,
i dream of you and of that taste i long for
but my sanity pushes me away to a distance
hello to goodnight, hello to goodbyes
waking up has brought tears to my eyes
i am not blind, i am not a fool.
you took my sight away, so cold, so cruel.

Ignore
the pain
It's all part of the process
to be
cleansed, inside and out
it's all part of being
cleansed, inside and out

bleed until water comes out Sunday, January 09, 2005 at 1:14 PM